


A Very Crimson Christmas

by margaritaville_antifa



Category: King Crimson (Band)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-25
Updated: 2018-12-25
Packaged: 2019-09-27 00:09:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,235
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17151605
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/margaritaville_antifa/pseuds/margaritaville_antifa
Summary: Adrian struggles with the various hassles of the holidays.





	A Very Crimson Christmas

Adrian was pacing back and forth in his kitchen. It was only a few days before Christmas, dinner wasn’t ready for their party on Christmas Eve and he was running out of time. “What am I gonna do?”

“Just stop fretting and go to the market,” Fripp said, petting his rabbit, Willyfred. “I’m not coming, because i am busy suing YouTube.”

“Okay.” Adrian turned to Bill. “Bill, do you wanna go?”

“No, I am an atheist and I hate Christmas. Bah humbug.”

“Oh well, I guess it’s just you and me, Tony.”

“I guess so.” Tony twirled his mustache.

Adrian and Tony got to the store and bought butter, eggs, chocolate chips, pie shells, and a ham. “Okay, I think that’s everythi- oh my god…” Adrian stopped in his tracks as he saw that the check-stand line was almost a mile long. “We’re gonna be stuck here forever!”

“No problem,” Tony said, pulling out a couple of blue tickets. “I have fast passes.”

“Fast passes for a grocery store check-out line?” Adrian shook his head. “Nevermind, let’s go.” They zoomed through the lines and loaded the car and drove back home.

Meanwhile, Fripp forced Bill into going with him to the tree farm to get a Christmas tree.

“Why are we doing this?” Bill mumbled. “Who cares about Christmas?”

“Be quiet, William,” Fripp said. “You are going to get me a tree and we are going to have a wonderful Christmas time, whether you like it or not.”

Bill rolled his eyes and heaved a sigh as he walked up a very small tree, just right for their apartment. “Let’s get this one.”

“No,” Fripp said. “I want this one.” He pointed to a tree that was eight feet tall.

“Robert, that’s not gonna fit in our flat.”

“William, don’t you DARE question me. You WILL get that tree and you WILL pay for it.”

“Yes sir.” Bill hauled the tree up and paid the tree farm owner sixty-nine dollars. After stuffing the tree in the back of their white van, they drove back home straight away to decorate.

 

Adrian and Tony came back to bill struggling to decorate a tree so large that the top of it was bent over against the ceiling. “Holy cow! That’s a large tree!”

“Yeah, Robert insisted on it.”

Adrian chuckled. Fripp was definitely difficult to compromise with. Either his way or the highway. Hopefully, he would approve of the Christmas dinner that Adrian had planned. A ham, mashed potatoes, and casserole, with pumpkin pie and sugar cookies for dessert.

After putting the ham in the oven, Adrian unwrapped a stick of butter and dropped it into a bowl. Then he added sugar and eggs. He put the beaters in and turned it on, but unfortunately for him, the beater had its settings turned all the way up and egg and butter flew everywhere.

“I can’t see! Oh god, I can’t see!” The mixture had gotten into Adrian’s eyes and he was now stumbling about the kitchen trying to look for the sink, without much success.

Tony was hanging up the mistletoe when he heard a cry of distress coming from the kitchen. “Ade?” He hopped off his stool and followed the noise. He found Adrian crawling around on his hands and knees on the tiled floor. “Jesus, what happened?”

“Tony! Can you get me to the sink? I have this crap stuck in my eyes! I can’t see!”

“Okay, okay, don’t worry.” Tony helped Adrian up and led him to the kitchen sink. The faucet was turned on and Tony dunked Adrian’s head under the running water.

“TONY, STOP!” Adrian yelled, flailing his arms around.

“Sorry, Ade.” Tony turned the faucet off. “Can you see now?”

“Yes, but…” Adrian shivered. He was cold and dripping wet, which was not a good combination.

“Uh, if you want, I could finish the cookies up for you…”

“God, please.”

 

It was Christmas Eve and Adrian set up the dinner. It had been rocky at the start but now it seemed like everything would run smoothly. Fripp, Bill, Tony, and of course, Adrian all sat down at the table, ready to enjoy the feast. “Now then,” Fripp said. “Let us all say Grace.”

But Bill refused. “You’ll never get me to say that.”

“William…” Fripp looked at him, sternly.

“What? I don’t believe in God so why should I do it?”

“Because it’s Christmas, Bill! Just please stop fighting,” Adrian pleaded.

“I won’t do it.”

“You WILL do it.” Fripp dramatically removed his glasses. “Or you will get no supper.” 

Bill stood up, leering angrily at Fripp. “Make me.”

“Guys, please stop,” Adrian said.

Bill leaned over the table, his face inches away from Fripp’s. “Do you really want to make a scene at Christmas?”

“I’m not making a scene, you are,” Fripp replied. “If you’re going to act like this, then may I kindly suggest that you leave.”

Bill overturned the table, flipping the dishes onto the floor. Fripp picked up the ham and chucked it at Bill’s face, who then grabbed a pie and threw it in Fripp’s direction. But the Fripp was quick. He ducked so the pie hit Adrian instead.

“GOD, I’M FED UP WITH THIS HOLIDAY!” Bill stormed outside and Fripp sat down in his chair, fuming.

Adrian, with pie in his face, knelt down picking up the broken plates, bawling his eyes out. “Why does this keep happening to me… Why can’t we just have a normal holiday…”

“I know, I know,” Tony said, patting Adrian on the back. “You go lay down, I’ll take care of this.”

Adrian laid down on the couch, still crying. He clasped his hands together. “Please God, I need a miracle tonight.” Just then, he heard the sounds of jingle bells. He looked outside and saw a sleigh flying through the air being pulled by nine tiny reindeer, the leading one with a bright red nose.

“Holy crap,” Adrian said. “Santa?”

A bright flash came from the chimney and the man in red was there. “Ho, ho, ho! Merry Christmas!”

“SANTA!” Adrian and Tony yelled in unison.

“Oh, hello Father Christmas,” Fripp said.

Adrian, my boy, don’t be sad! It’s Christmas!” Santa wiped his tears away.

“But, Santa… Look!” Adrian pointed at the mess that Bill caused. “My Christmas dinner… It’s ruined!”

“Nothing a bit of MAGIC can’t fix!” Santa took out a small glowing orb that was labled “Miracle Bomb” and threw it towards the overturned table. There was a flash and a bang and when the smoke cleared, there was a beautiful feast awaiting them, even more grand than the one Adrian had prepared before.

“My dinner… It’s saved!”

“Yes, but now I must go,” Santa waved his hand over Adrian’s face and the pie on his face disappeared. “Goodbye Adrian.” 

And with that, Santa was on the road again, to deliver toys to all the good little children of the world. Adrian wiped a tear from his eye.

“Ade, why are you still crying?” Tony asked.

“It’s tears of happiness,” Adrian said. “Merry Christmas, Tony! I love you! And I love you too, Bob!”

Fripp kept scowling but Tony swooped up Adrian in his arms. “I love you, Ade! Now let’s eat!”

And so they all sat down and ate until their stomachs were stuffed. It was truly the best Christmas that Adrian could’ve ever asked for.


End file.
